April Fool's Day ........................................... April 1st, 2004
Ron "Horshack" Palillo's Birthday .......... April 2nd, 1954
Jackie Chan's Birthday .............................. April 7th, 1954
Buddha Bathing Festival ........................... April 8th, 2004
Good Friday ................................................. April 9th, 2004
10th Annual Fish Fry & Clam Dip Throw .April 9th, 2004
Easter ......................................................... April 11th, 2004
Thomas Jefferson's Birthday ................. April 13th, 1743
Sarah Michelle Gellar's Birthday ............ April 14th, 2004
Leonardo da Vinci's Birthday ................. April 15th, 2004
Nikita Khrushchev's Birthday .................. April 17th, 2004
Adolph Hitler's Birthday ........................... April 20th, 2004
Earth Day .................................................. April 22nd, 2004
Ace Frehley's Birthday .............................. April 27th, 2004
Jessica (Yummy) Alba's Birthday .......... April 28th, 2004
Only a few years in the making, this has become my favorite holiday above many others. Created by the members of Ha Ha Comix, the Fish Fry & Clam Dip Throw can trace its origins back 25 years at least. (cont'd)
It began with the Junior High knowledge that on Good Friday, catholic kids would be expected to leave school for some form of religious ritual. Upon hearing of this, my friends and I quickly realized that we could just disappear from school, and no one would think twice about it. It didn't take long for us to embrace and abuse the circumstances.
Not really being catholic though, we had to come up with somewhere else to go rather than church. Being lunchtime when the operation was set afoot, we soon realized that we could avail ourselves to the local pizza establishment, Graziano's by name. There we feasted on pitchers of soda and many wonderful pizzas. It was my first witnessing of a pizza dive, an occurrence that happens anytime a hot pizza is set in the middle of several hungry teenage boys - and all of them grabbing a slice at once. Mike, being too close to the serving area suffered the fate of hot cheese & sauce drippings.
After that it began to take the form of cookouts. Invade the local parks and seize a shelter (reservations?...we don't need no stinkin' reservations) and commence cooking burgers and chowing out on all kinds of goodies, all while drinking beer and maybe a few other substances. One year we got some of those Buzz-Buttered burgers and I remember seeing green pools of grease formed in the middle of the square processed patties. It was gross to see, but we still ate them and they were fine.
Almost two years ago a lot of my friends came back to town for our high school class's 20 year reunion. Perry took the opportunity and organized the 9th Annual Fish Fry & Clam Dip Throw during that time. It was great to see the group back together. We had it catered and had a blast playing volleyball and catching up with one another.
So this year I think I'll continue the tradition. We didn't do one last year so I think this will actually qualify to be the 10th Annual Fish Fry & Clam Dip Throw - why it sounds like a milestone. I think I'll try to pay homage to it's roots with an "anointing with cheese" ritual - dedicated to you Mike.
Fellow members have already been briefed as to the party plans. But in the realization that the few remaining local members would make up a very small party, I am opening it up to all friends and friends of friends. Anyone interested in joining the party can email me at this address: dcasto@charter.net
In case you are wondering - there has never been a fish fried or any clam dip thrown. To do so would give the name merit, and we certainly don't want the party to have that.
Doug
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then..." he sighed, "let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
Thanx To Doug Rice
horse and I'm sending him over."
The midget arrives, and the owner asks if he wants a male or female horse.
"A female horth", the midget replies. So the owner shows him one.
"Nith looking horth, can I thee her mouf?" So the owners picks up the midget and shows him the horse's mouth.
"Nith mouf, Can I thee her eyeth?" So the owner picks up the midget and shows him the horse's eyes.
"Ok, what about the eerth?" Now the owner is getting pissed, but he picks up the midget one more
time and shows him the ears.
"OK, finally, can I see her twat?" With that, the owner picks up the midget and shoves his head up the horse's vagina, then pulls him out.
Shaking his head, the midget says, "Perhapth I thould rephrathe that. Can I thee her wun awownd?
Thanx To Bill Garcelon
One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. "STOP!," he shouted in a firm voice. "Have you got a license for that thing?"
Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him. "OK" he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.
As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted, "STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?" Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster and held it up to him. Harold nodded and said, "Carry on, ma'am."
As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front door, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her, stark naked, holding a very sizable erection in his hand.
Oh, Good grief," said Ethel, "not the breathalyzer again!"
Thanx To Bill Garcelon
The first doctor said: "We'll just take a big hunk off the end". They discussed it and decided that would
The second doctor said: "We'll just take a big hunk out of the middle of it". They discussed it and decided it would change the texture and feel of it.
The doctors looked at the nurse who had tears running done her cheeks. The nurse cried: "Can't we just make his legs longer?"
Thanx To Michelle Higginbotham
The man cried out, "Oh no! I have committed a terrible crime! I have run over the Easter Bunny!"
The man started sobbing quite hard and then he heard another car approaching. It was a woman in a red convertable. The woman stopped and asked what the problem was.
The man explained, "I have done something horribly sad. I have run over the Easter bunny. Now there will be no one to deliver eggs on Easter Day, and it's all my fault."
The woman ran back to her car. A moment later, she came back carrying a spray bottle. She ran over to the motionless bunny and sprayed it. The bunny immediately sprang up, ran into the woods, stopped, and waved back at the man and woman. Then it ran another 10 feet, stopped, and waved. It then ran another 10 feet, stopped, and waved again. It did this over and over and over again until the man and the woman could no longer see the bunny.
Once out of sight, the man exclaimed, "What is that stuff in that bottle?"
The woman replied, "It's harespray. It revitalizes hare and adds permanent wave."
The first blonde said, "Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey."
St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to hell.
The second blonde said, "Easter is when we celebrate Jesus' birth and exchange gifts."
St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to hell.
The third blonde said, she knew what Easter is, and St. Peter said,"So, tell me."
She said, "Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus was having Passover feast with His disciples when he was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested him. The Romans hung Him on the cross and eventually He died. Then they buried Him in a tomb behind a very large boulder....
St. Peter said, "Verrrrrry good." "Then," the blonde continued, "now every year the Jews roll away the boulder and Jesus comes out. If he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of basketball."
St. Peter fainted...
Thanks To www.jokes.com
Another, a ranch hand on his way to Billings for a stock show.
The third passenger is a fundamentalist Arab student, newly arrived, and on his way to study engineering at Montana Tech.
To pass the time they strike up a conversation on recent events, and the discussion drifts to their diverse cultures.
Soon the westerners learn that the Arab is a devout radical Muslim, and believes his people are justified in their 'holy' war.
The conversation falls into an uneasy lull. The cowpoke leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine table and tips his big sweat-stained hat forward over his face.
The wind outside blows and blows and the old windsock flaps but no plane comes.
Finally, the Native American clears his throat and softly he speaks:
"Once, my people were many, now we are few."
The radical Muslim raises an eyebrow and leans forward, "Once my people were few," he sneers, "and now we are many. Why do you suppose that is?"
The Cowboy shifts the toothpick to one side of his mouth and from the darkness beneath his Stetson says, "That's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet. Thanx To http://www.netfunny.com
Are Made
The bad brother died. He was still missed by his brother since he
loved him despite his ways.
Finally, years later, the good brother died and went to Heaven.
Everything was beautiful and wonderful there, and he was very happy.
One day he asked God where his brother was, as he hadn't seen him there.
God said that he was sorry but his brother lived a terrible life and
went to Hell instead. The good brother then asked God if there was any way for him to see his brother.
So God gave him the power of vision to see into Hell, and there was his brother. He was sitting on a bench with a keg of beer under one arm and a gorgeous blonde on the other. Confused, the good brother said to God, "I am so happy that you let me into Heaven with you. It is so beautiful here and I love it. But I don't understand, if my brother was bad enough to go to Hell, why does he have the keg of beer & a gorgeous blonde? It hardly seems like a punishment".
God said unto him, "Things are
not always as they seem, my son. The keg has a hole in it; the blonde does not ."
Thanx To Earnie James
FOR EASTER
ON STERIODS AND VIAGRA
"X-RAY GLASSES"
1 can frozen Orange Juice
1 can frozen Lemonade
1/2 bottle of Grenadine Syrup
Sliced Oranges, Lemons, & Limes
1 ltr bottle of Grain Alcohol
other e-mischief
10th FF&CDT Pictures, stories
hide his eggs?
Because he doesn't want anyone to know he's screwing a chicken
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